POST CHRISTMAS

" do come home at Christmas. We all do, or we all should. We all come home, or ought to come home, for a short holiday - the longer, the better - from the great boarding school where we are forever working at our arithmetical slates, to take, and give a rest."
- Charles Dickens

So Christmas has yet come and gone again. All the build up over the past month has finally exploded on that one day we love to celebrate known as Christmas. For me this year it was a little different. Then again, who am I fooling, it was extremely different. Living the new life of the "Going through Divorce" man, and having kids makes things very different. I spend a lot of time questioning each move I make, and if it will mess with the kids or not. What gets me, is that I had to suffer so much emotionally and physically this year to come to the conclusion that life is so much easier if you function based on a simple set of rules you make for yourself. A code for the most part. My code is simple. Family and very close friends (Also known as my extended family) come first. Everyone else can just wait their turn and take a number, because if those that fall into my code are in need, they get priority. Its simple. A code. A rule to follow. A rule I should have learned to follow a long time ago. However, with that thought in mind, I would not be where I am now. Nor would I have learned all that I have learned. I am a much stronger person now, despite all the hard times. I look back at September, and I could not see any light at the end of the tunnel. I could not even think that I would smile again, or that I was even allowed to smile again. I thought for a very long time I would be in pure misery! With that being said, I don't want to give you the assumption that I am Mr. Happy Go Lucky! I still have a lot of growing and learning to do, but I have learned many valuable lessons and most importantly I have learned that No matter how much trauma and pain one may experience, you can still rise from the ashes and push forward. I am stronger and wiser now, my eyes are opened to a lot. I no longer live in denial and I am not scared to admit that I am scared or that I am weak. Christmas shed a whole new meaning to me this year. I was dreading the day so much, but my kids were still so very excited. Through them I was able to find the spirit. Through them I was capable of enjoying the day and find that real smile once again. So with all that has been said, I want all of you to know that no matter how much pain you may be experiencing at the current moment, it will pass. It will pass if you choose to allow it to happen and experience all that is happening. Oddly enough, the ball is always in your court. You get to choose! You can choose to keep on keeping on, or to simply give up. I can't make that decision for you, nor will I judge you for whatever decision you make. Just follow your soul, and the right choice will be made. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Live EPIC!

SELF

"Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

Okay I know. I quoted Emerson again. Cut me some slack, the guy has some great quotes, and apparently knows a lot about life...........Okay, listen people. I am not going to lie to you. I am half a bottle into a some really good Merlot and curious to know why I even care about writing all this EPIC LIFE stuff for you all to read. I have been searching for the "Self" within me or the "Self" of whom I am. I thought I knew, but what I knew was not for real. It was a false front that I created to get through the day to day life. I put on an act of being a tough guy, that was not affected by anything. I was too cool to be a dork. I was to busy, to stop and dance. I was to tired to play army men. You know what? I HATE THAT I WASTED SO MUCH TIME PRETENDING! I Hate that I will go out of my way to avoid a confrontation with some one, just so I don't have to deal with the drama. Not any more! We all feel. We all want something. It is not right hold back how you feel, for fear of what drama it may cause you. I have been standing in the shadows to long. I have been second best for most of my life. No longer will I allow this to happen. I have been scared to succeed, due to fear of failure and judgement by my peers. Pardon my language, but FUCK my peers. Its my life, my path, my experience! Love me or Hate me! Don't you DARE JUDGE ME! No one is perfect! NO ONE! I want each of you to look into your own eyes and decide if you are one that can judge your neighbor. Better yet. Ask yourself, "WHY SHOULD I JUDGE MY NEIGHBOR?" Let me go ahead and answer that one for you. You should judge no one. We all have our own lives. We all have our own paths. On my death bed, I could care less about what my neighbor did to get himself/herself into trouble. Do not make others pitfalls, your graces! If you do. Then DAMN YOU!
GO LIVE THE EPIC LIFE, NOT THE SELF RIGHTEOUS LIFE!

Thanksgiving

"For flowers that bloom about our feet;For tender grass, so fresh, so sweet;For song of bird, and hum of bee;For all things fair we hear or see,Father in heaven, we thank Thee!"
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

Today is the day where people come together and feast the ultimate feast. Today people come together as family and appreciate all that we are to be thankful for, and most of all GRATEFUL for. I am Thankful for much these days. I am Thankful for my Children, my TRUE friends, those that are my blood family and those that are my Family. I am Thankful to those that look at me and pass no judgement and simply love me for me, regardless my past. I am thankful to be given a chance at life and a chance to learn and grow. I am Thankful for the opportunity to better my soul and to rise from the ashes. I am Thankful for the ability to feel and finally the ability to trust the feelings for me by others. If you are reading this right now, I would like you to close your eyes and think long and hard about what truly makes you Thankful. When you feel that warm smile wipe over your face, then you will know that you have found the right answer. Use that moment to push you through your hard times, and allow you to grow stronger.
Go Live The Epic Life!

NEW YORK MY HOME

“One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years"
-Thomas Wolfe quotes-


I recently took a mini trip to my home away from home, New York City. I needed to revisit my past. This year has been a very trying year for me, and I am not going to lie when I tell you I can't wait for it to end. New York was my college. It educated me to what kind of world we live in and how important it is to pay attention to the world around you. I found myself falling into the darkside of the city. Staying out to early hours partying, doing drugs, and basically forgetting why I was there in the first place. I was on the downward spiral to death. Many times I had no money and I would steal food from the deli, or snag a Snickers Bar to get me through the day. I was young and extremely emotionally immature. I met and fell in love with my Sister Alise. I know that sounds odd, but keep reading. Our time in NYC was an amazing time, and she was the one responsible for pulling me out of my hole. Not long after meeting her, I moved to Philadelphia with her and we began to make a life for ourselves. Young and in love. It wasn't too long before we found out we were pregnant with our first child Juliet. This is where my path of young retardation began. I spent a good portion of our marriage living a lie and being scared to speak the truth to her or anyone for that matter. I was not faithful, nor did I give her my soul. I communicated poorly and disregarded a lot. I was so very stupid. As time moved on we drifted a part, but remained a team for the children. We were always a great team when it came to the kids, or at least when I decided to wake up out of my daze and realize that I had children and it was time to be a part of their lives. Sometime around the age of 28. To much time had passed and far to much damage had been done. We both knew that the marriage was dead and it was time to move on. 2007 has been the hardest year of my life. So many changes. So many emotional moments. Bridges burned. Hearts broken. Friendships tainted. Its time to end. However, returning back to NYC and retracing my memories and just being there closed out that chapter which I held on to. I looked at that symbolic city with much more mature eyes. I take nothing back that I have experienced thus far, for it has done nothing but teach me important lessons and make me stronger as an individual. I appreciate the good times I had with Alise as well as the not so good, and mostly I appreciate my three beautiful children that we created. The Universe did not intend for us to remain together as a husband and a wife, but it did intend for us to go through some very hard times together. I say this to all of you, because if you have noticed. 2007 seems to be the year of house cleaning. I have never seen so many people fall into divorce, separation, and breakups. The lesson to be learned mostly, is that regardless of how hard you fall. You can pick yourself up. Brush yourself off, and continue on. There is no need for hate or have ill feelings. Alise has every right to hate me, and she chooses not to. Why? Because she loves me. Not as a husband, but as a brother. She loves me because I have been her family and she has been mine. We both know that as a couple we don't work, but as a family we do and there is no reason why this can't be for everyone else out there who is going through the same thing. I know it hurts. I know you may have been the one to have your heart ripped out, but forget not the time you shared. Life is far to short to dwell on the "I wish I would haves." Family is important, and there is no rule of thumb that defines what or who family is to be. She is my sister and I am her brother. Our past is our past, and now its our learned lessons, experiences, and memories. What is important, is what you learned and how strong it made you. Your death bed experience should be one that you think about your memories and are okay with, both good and bad. Not wishing you would have done this or that. Waste no more energy on the negatives and think of all that you have learned. Revisit the past with wiser eyes and you too will see that life is all about struggle, pain, love, happiness, fear, sadness, and most of all EXPERIENCE!
Now go live the Epic Life!

NYC

PASSION

“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.”
-Anonymous-

pas·sion

(pshn)
n.
1. A powerful emotion, such as love, joy, hatred, or anger.
The object of such love or desire.
a. Boundless enthusiasm

Passion. A word that is so very misunderstood. Most would use this word when it comes to SEX. Well, they are not entirely wrong, but the word PASSION doesn't mean SEX. So for you men out there, its time to crack open the dictionary and educate yourself. Personally I use to think it had to do with sex and only sex for the most part. I was wrong, but I did learn what the word really meant. Passion is when you are totally committed to something with your mind, body, heart, and soul. Passion is what excites you to wake up in the morning. Passion is what you LOVE. It works in all areas of life. Passion for the opposite/same sex: This passion would mean that you will go above and beyond the norm to accommodate or to even be with a particular individual. When you see this person you feel the warm and fuzzies inside. You trust this person. You share your inner most soul with this person and have no doubt in your mind that this person will not pass judgement on you, no matter what. Passion for Life: This is the very essence of living. You love to live. You can't wait to see what the new day brings you. You appreciate all that is around you and embrace every moment as a learning experience. You salivate at the thought of breathing and living. Passion for your craft or gift: This is what you love to do. This is that thing that you aspire to do always and if lucky get paid to do so. In my case its acting. I love it so much, I crave the desire to wake up on a daily basis to get to go and practice my craft. Everyone has a passion for something. Everyone desires something so much it makes them salivate. The question is, "How do we put this in to affect into our daily lives?" Very simple. You stop making excuses and you go for your passion. I am not saying quit your 9 to 5 and roll the dice to see if you become the next All American Band, but why not join a band. Why not? Why not practice the GOD given gifts that you have? You have passion for a reason. We have passion for things, because we are good at those things. We have passion for certain people, because we mold with those people. Passion is a very basic alert system in our hearts and souls that tell us we should be doing something everyday that involves our personal passion. If we ignore the Passion, then we are not living epically are we? Stop wasting anymore time. Follow your passion, and trust your instincts!
Live Epically

STRESS

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.”
George F. Burns quotes (American comedian 1896-1996)

-Stress is defined as an organism's total response to environmental demands or pressures.-

Okay ladies and gents its time to talk about stress. This is an issue we can all relate to, and believe me when I say this, "I am the king of retaining stress til I bust." Stress is the key to many bodily breakdowns. Our mind and physical makeup crumble under stress. Our lives seem to spin out of control because of this six letter word. It makes us want to SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

How do we make stress EPIC? We don't and we can't! Now wait, don't turn off your computer and give me the bird. There is a solution. Stress is going to be in our lives regardless, its how we cope with stress that will fit into the EPIC life.

To cope with stress is tricky, because stress sneaks up on us like ninjas. When we feel our heart beating fast, our breathing patterns increasing, and our minds spinning we know that we are under stress. 3 good signs right? Here is what you do. Take a moment, no matter where you are. Step back. Literally, make a physical step back to trigger a change in your head. Visualize the cause of your stress. Paint a picture in your head that you can relate the cause to. Close your eyes, and see yourself taking that picture you have created relating to your stress, and begin to repaint that picture into something funny. While doing this, take long deep breathes. When you feel your heart rate and your breathing pattern slowing down and your mind clearing, open your eyes and you will see that your problem now has a solution or at least a means of how to cope. Don't allow stress to prevent you from experiencing happiness! Start living people and remember to live the EPIC life!

Gossip!

Here is the deal! Gossip! What is the point? Before I begin on my rant about Gossip, lets explore the true definition of the word!

Gossip:gos·sip (gŏs'əp) n.
Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.
A person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts.
Trivial, chatty talk or writing.

SYNONYMS gossip, blab, tattle. These verbs mean to engage in or communicate idle, indiscreet talk: gossiping about the neighbors; can't keep a secret—he always blabs; is disliked for tattling on mischief-makers.

Now that we have the definition of the word, can any of you find anything good about the definition what so ever? I would think not, and if you can then go ahead and chalk yourself up as a sociopath. I know what you are thinking, "My God, Mr. Epic Life is not sounding so Epic."

If that is what just went though your head, well you are right! There is nothing less Epic than being a Gossiping piece of shit! There is nothing I can't stand more than some one that loves to spread rumors about others. Regardless of how you may feel about some one, that is between you and that some one. Don't be a judger. None of us are perfect! None of us! Is your life so pathetic that you must make up rumors about others to make your life look better? Is your life so sad that you must try and ruin the happiness of others by creating drama that does not need to be created?

Listen to me people. You have but one life, that you are aware of, to live right now. Either you get busy living, or you get busy dying. Trying to bring others down with you is not the answer, and in the long run and bigger picture, none of that negative energy that you created is worth the very short moment of happiness it gave you to make some one else seem worse than you. You know how miserable you are, and how unhappy you are, and why you are miserable and unhappy. My advice to you is to deal with your own shit, and create a sincere happiness for yourself. Don't judge others, don't try to make others look worse than you, don't be a self righteous person. Find love from somewhere and allow it into your heart. Find happiness somewhere and allow it into your soul. Gossip will come back and bite you very hard! Don't pretend to live Epically! Live Epically!
STOP THE GOSSIP!!! LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE!!! DON'T DWELL IN OTHERS PRIVATE PLACE!
Live the Epic Life!

Sleep

Sleep. Ahhhhhhh! The joy of a good nights sleep. Sleep for me is one of those luxury items, that I wish I could get on a daily basis. I find myself up til the early hours of the morning, finally dosing off just in time for that one REM cycle. Epically, we should all get our sleep. We sleep, we feel good, we accomplish more, and we are successful. Sounds great right? Well, in the real world, most of us are consumed with day to day responsibility. With this responsibility comes the use of every minute and every hour of the day. By the end of our day, we finally get some "Personal Time." Who wants to go straight to bed? Not me. I crave that personal time. The trick is to balance a certain amount of personal time, so it doesn't interfere with your sleep. If you can find that balance and be happy with that balance, you can have the best of both worlds. More sleep=More energy to handle your daily responsibilities=feeling accomplished about the days efforts= better "personal time"= A great path to living that EPIC LIFE!
Live Epic

Guilt

I happend to be a sucker for guilt. I feel guilt over everything. I feel guilty if I can't make everyone around me happy, or at least meet their demands. Example. My business partner and I are starting a new business. Right now we are in the middle of build out, construction. Well, I have my kids this weekend, and their time with me is valuable. I feel bad having to make them spend it with me at work. Today, they had to spend literally 3 to 4 hours driving and hanging out in downtown LA waiting for me to get some stuff for new business. Finally arriving back at the new place to drop off what I had gone downtown for, my business partner and our friend was knocking a hole in the wall. I felt torn. I felt guilt that I could not help, and at the same time I felt guilt that I had responsibility to my children. They had Halloween parties to get to, and still needed to eat dinner. My children always come first, but at the same time. The success of my business will make my children prosper even more. Torn. All in all, in order to live that Epic Life, guilt should not be a part of the equation. Unless, you have done something wrong. You will never be able to meet everyones desires and demands, all you can do is hope they understand and accept you for who you are.
Live Epic

The Epic Sleep

Before I go off on a rant about sleep and how it is great for you. I need to set the scene. It is a Friday night. I sit at my computer desk, working on various projects i have going on and wishing i could go to sleep at some point. I have not been sleeping lately. I have maybe averaged 3 hours a night, if that. My brain is pumped with so many avenues of priority. My children, my home, my work, my new business, my relationships.....being pulled in so many directions and being given so much advice. It piles and piles on tunil sooner or later the back gives and you fall.

I had to give in tonight. I popped an ambian and drank a glass of wine! Many have tried to tell me this would make sleep happen. Well I took the pill about an hour aho....NOTHING! Sure things have slightly altered, but i am still awake and typing this blog. Epic Advice.....relax....meditate....and sleep the normal sleep!
live the epic life

The Experience

For many life is about the waking of the alarm and jumping straight into a routine. Snooze for 13 more minutes, walk blindly to the shower, fall into the water, slowly awake from the water pelting your face. The normal attire, the same breakfast and cup of coffee. The lovely commute one hour. The desk. The phone. The job. The lovely commute. The "How was your day?" Dinner. Tivo. Alarm Set. Sleep.
Any of this sound familure? Worry not. It happens to me too. I am not saying that I have the answers on how to fix this. Its almost impossible to fix any of the routine. We need our jobs to pay for our lives. We need our cars, our homes, our big screens, etc. However, what we fail to miss is we need our personal time and we need to literally take moments in our days to look around with clear eyes and appreciate what we see. So if anything. The next time you are stuck in grid lock. Look off beyond the cars and open your eyes. You may just notice something that you may have never noticed before and that my friend is a simple experience that can alter a daily routine.
Live the Epic Life!
Adam

Welcome!

Welcome to Epic Life. My name is Adam Hatley and I would like to lead you on a path that will help you understand the answer to that philisophical question "Why? This blog will have various rants, raves, philosiphies, and facts that may help you along your path. Feel free to comment all you would like. The more participation the better.