"Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
Okay I know. I quoted Emerson again. Cut me some slack, the guy has some great quotes, and apparently knows a lot about life...........Okay, listen people. I am not going to lie to you. I am half a bottle into a some really good Merlot and curious to know why I even care about writing all this EPIC LIFE stuff for you all to read. I have been searching for the "Self" within me or the "Self" of whom I am. I thought I knew, but what I knew was not for real. It was a false front that I created to get through the day to day life. I put on an act of being a tough guy, that was not affected by anything. I was too cool to be a dork. I was to busy, to stop and dance. I was to tired to play army men. You know what? I HATE THAT I WASTED SO MUCH TIME PRETENDING! I Hate that I will go out of my way to avoid a confrontation with some one, just so I don't have to deal with the drama. Not any more! We all feel. We all want something. It is not right hold back how you feel, for fear of what drama it may cause you. I have been standing in the shadows to long. I have been second best for most of my life. No longer will I allow this to happen. I have been scared to succeed, due to fear of failure and judgement by my peers. Pardon my language, but FUCK my peers. Its my life, my path, my experience! Love me or Hate me! Don't you DARE JUDGE ME! No one is perfect! NO ONE! I want each of you to look into your own eyes and decide if you are one that can judge your neighbor. Better yet. Ask yourself, "WHY SHOULD I JUDGE MY NEIGHBOR?" Let me go ahead and answer that one for you. You should judge no one. We all have our own lives. We all have our own paths. On my death bed, I could care less about what my neighbor did to get himself/herself into trouble. Do not make others pitfalls, your graces! If you do. Then DAMN YOU!
GO LIVE THE EPIC LIFE, NOT THE SELF RIGHTEOUS LIFE!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thanksgiving
"For flowers that bloom about our feet;For tender grass, so fresh, so sweet;For song of bird, and hum of bee;For all things fair we hear or see,Father in heaven, we thank Thee!"
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
Today is the day where people come together and feast the ultimate feast. Today people come together as family and appreciate all that we are to be thankful for, and most of all GRATEFUL for. I am Thankful for much these days. I am Thankful for my Children, my TRUE friends, those that are my blood family and those that are my Family. I am Thankful to those that look at me and pass no judgement and simply love me for me, regardless my past. I am thankful to be given a chance at life and a chance to learn and grow. I am Thankful for the opportunity to better my soul and to rise from the ashes. I am Thankful for the ability to feel and finally the ability to trust the feelings for me by others. If you are reading this right now, I would like you to close your eyes and think long and hard about what truly makes you Thankful. When you feel that warm smile wipe over your face, then you will know that you have found the right answer. Use that moment to push you through your hard times, and allow you to grow stronger.
Go Live The Epic Life!
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
Today is the day where people come together and feast the ultimate feast. Today people come together as family and appreciate all that we are to be thankful for, and most of all GRATEFUL for. I am Thankful for much these days. I am Thankful for my Children, my TRUE friends, those that are my blood family and those that are my Family. I am Thankful to those that look at me and pass no judgement and simply love me for me, regardless my past. I am thankful to be given a chance at life and a chance to learn and grow. I am Thankful for the opportunity to better my soul and to rise from the ashes. I am Thankful for the ability to feel and finally the ability to trust the feelings for me by others. If you are reading this right now, I would like you to close your eyes and think long and hard about what truly makes you Thankful. When you feel that warm smile wipe over your face, then you will know that you have found the right answer. Use that moment to push you through your hard times, and allow you to grow stronger.
Go Live The Epic Life!
Monday, November 19, 2007
NEW YORK MY HOME
“One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years"
-Thomas Wolfe quotes-
I recently took a mini trip to my home away from home, New York City. I needed to revisit my past. This year has been a very trying year for me, and I am not going to lie when I tell you I can't wait for it to end. New York was my college. It educated me to what kind of world we live in and how important it is to pay attention to the world around you. I found myself falling into the darkside of the city. Staying out to early hours partying, doing drugs, and basically forgetting why I was there in the first place. I was on the downward spiral to death. Many times I had no money and I would steal food from the deli, or snag a Snickers Bar to get me through the day. I was young and extremely emotionally immature. I met and fell in love with my Sister Alise. I know that sounds odd, but keep reading. Our time in NYC was an amazing time, and she was the one responsible for pulling me out of my hole. Not long after meeting her, I moved to Philadelphia with her and we began to make a life for ourselves. Young and in love. It wasn't too long before we found out we were pregnant with our first child Juliet. This is where my path of young retardation began. I spent a good portion of our marriage living a lie and being scared to speak the truth to her or anyone for that matter. I was not faithful, nor did I give her my soul. I communicated poorly and disregarded a lot. I was so very stupid. As time moved on we drifted a part, but remained a team for the children. We were always a great team when it came to the kids, or at least when I decided to wake up out of my daze and realize that I had children and it was time to be a part of their lives. Sometime around the age of 28. To much time had passed and far to much damage had been done. We both knew that the marriage was dead and it was time to move on. 2007 has been the hardest year of my life. So many changes. So many emotional moments. Bridges burned. Hearts broken. Friendships tainted. Its time to end. However, returning back to NYC and retracing my memories and just being there closed out that chapter which I held on to. I looked at that symbolic city with much more mature eyes. I take nothing back that I have experienced thus far, for it has done nothing but teach me important lessons and make me stronger as an individual. I appreciate the good times I had with Alise as well as the not so good, and mostly I appreciate my three beautiful children that we created. The Universe did not intend for us to remain together as a husband and a wife, but it did intend for us to go through some very hard times together. I say this to all of you, because if you have noticed. 2007 seems to be the year of house cleaning. I have never seen so many people fall into divorce, separation, and breakups. The lesson to be learned mostly, is that regardless of how hard you fall. You can pick yourself up. Brush yourself off, and continue on. There is no need for hate or have ill feelings. Alise has every right to hate me, and she chooses not to. Why? Because she loves me. Not as a husband, but as a brother. She loves me because I have been her family and she has been mine. We both know that as a couple we don't work, but as a family we do and there is no reason why this can't be for everyone else out there who is going through the same thing. I know it hurts. I know you may have been the one to have your heart ripped out, but forget not the time you shared. Life is far to short to dwell on the "I wish I would haves." Family is important, and there is no rule of thumb that defines what or who family is to be. She is my sister and I am her brother. Our past is our past, and now its our learned lessons, experiences, and memories. What is important, is what you learned and how strong it made you. Your death bed experience should be one that you think about your memories and are okay with, both good and bad. Not wishing you would have done this or that. Waste no more energy on the negatives and think of all that you have learned. Revisit the past with wiser eyes and you too will see that life is all about struggle, pain, love, happiness, fear, sadness, and most of all EXPERIENCE!
Now go live the Epic Life!
-Thomas Wolfe quotes-
I recently took a mini trip to my home away from home, New York City. I needed to revisit my past. This year has been a very trying year for me, and I am not going to lie when I tell you I can't wait for it to end. New York was my college. It educated me to what kind of world we live in and how important it is to pay attention to the world around you. I found myself falling into the darkside of the city. Staying out to early hours partying, doing drugs, and basically forgetting why I was there in the first place. I was on the downward spiral to death. Many times I had no money and I would steal food from the deli, or snag a Snickers Bar to get me through the day. I was young and extremely emotionally immature. I met and fell in love with my Sister Alise. I know that sounds odd, but keep reading. Our time in NYC was an amazing time, and she was the one responsible for pulling me out of my hole. Not long after meeting her, I moved to Philadelphia with her and we began to make a life for ourselves. Young and in love. It wasn't too long before we found out we were pregnant with our first child Juliet. This is where my path of young retardation began. I spent a good portion of our marriage living a lie and being scared to speak the truth to her or anyone for that matter. I was not faithful, nor did I give her my soul. I communicated poorly and disregarded a lot. I was so very stupid. As time moved on we drifted a part, but remained a team for the children. We were always a great team when it came to the kids, or at least when I decided to wake up out of my daze and realize that I had children and it was time to be a part of their lives. Sometime around the age of 28. To much time had passed and far to much damage had been done. We both knew that the marriage was dead and it was time to move on. 2007 has been the hardest year of my life. So many changes. So many emotional moments. Bridges burned. Hearts broken. Friendships tainted. Its time to end. However, returning back to NYC and retracing my memories and just being there closed out that chapter which I held on to. I looked at that symbolic city with much more mature eyes. I take nothing back that I have experienced thus far, for it has done nothing but teach me important lessons and make me stronger as an individual. I appreciate the good times I had with Alise as well as the not so good, and mostly I appreciate my three beautiful children that we created. The Universe did not intend for us to remain together as a husband and a wife, but it did intend for us to go through some very hard times together. I say this to all of you, because if you have noticed. 2007 seems to be the year of house cleaning. I have never seen so many people fall into divorce, separation, and breakups. The lesson to be learned mostly, is that regardless of how hard you fall. You can pick yourself up. Brush yourself off, and continue on. There is no need for hate or have ill feelings. Alise has every right to hate me, and she chooses not to. Why? Because she loves me. Not as a husband, but as a brother. She loves me because I have been her family and she has been mine. We both know that as a couple we don't work, but as a family we do and there is no reason why this can't be for everyone else out there who is going through the same thing. I know it hurts. I know you may have been the one to have your heart ripped out, but forget not the time you shared. Life is far to short to dwell on the "I wish I would haves." Family is important, and there is no rule of thumb that defines what or who family is to be. She is my sister and I am her brother. Our past is our past, and now its our learned lessons, experiences, and memories. What is important, is what you learned and how strong it made you. Your death bed experience should be one that you think about your memories and are okay with, both good and bad. Not wishing you would have done this or that. Waste no more energy on the negatives and think of all that you have learned. Revisit the past with wiser eyes and you too will see that life is all about struggle, pain, love, happiness, fear, sadness, and most of all EXPERIENCE!
Now go live the Epic Life!
Saturday, November 3, 2007
PASSION
“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.”
-Anonymous-
pas·sion
(pshn)
n.
1. A powerful emotion, such as love, joy, hatred, or anger.
The object of such love or desire.
a. Boundless enthusiasm
Passion. A word that is so very misunderstood. Most would use this word when it comes to SEX. Well, they are not entirely wrong, but the word PASSION doesn't mean SEX. So for you men out there, its time to crack open the dictionary and educate yourself. Personally I use to think it had to do with sex and only sex for the most part. I was wrong, but I did learn what the word really meant. Passion is when you are totally committed to something with your mind, body, heart, and soul. Passion is what excites you to wake up in the morning. Passion is what you LOVE. It works in all areas of life. Passion for the opposite/same sex: This passion would mean that you will go above and beyond the norm to accommodate or to even be with a particular individual. When you see this person you feel the warm and fuzzies inside. You trust this person. You share your inner most soul with this person and have no doubt in your mind that this person will not pass judgement on you, no matter what. Passion for Life: This is the very essence of living. You love to live. You can't wait to see what the new day brings you. You appreciate all that is around you and embrace every moment as a learning experience. You salivate at the thought of breathing and living. Passion for your craft or gift: This is what you love to do. This is that thing that you aspire to do always and if lucky get paid to do so. In my case its acting. I love it so much, I crave the desire to wake up on a daily basis to get to go and practice my craft. Everyone has a passion for something. Everyone desires something so much it makes them salivate. The question is, "How do we put this in to affect into our daily lives?" Very simple. You stop making excuses and you go for your passion. I am not saying quit your 9 to 5 and roll the dice to see if you become the next All American Band, but why not join a band. Why not? Why not practice the GOD given gifts that you have? You have passion for a reason. We have passion for things, because we are good at those things. We have passion for certain people, because we mold with those people. Passion is a very basic alert system in our hearts and souls that tell us we should be doing something everyday that involves our personal passion. If we ignore the Passion, then we are not living epically are we? Stop wasting anymore time. Follow your passion, and trust your instincts!
Live Epically
-Anonymous-
pas·sion
(pshn)
n.
1. A powerful emotion, such as love, joy, hatred, or anger.
The object of such love or desire.
a. Boundless enthusiasm
Passion. A word that is so very misunderstood. Most would use this word when it comes to SEX. Well, they are not entirely wrong, but the word PASSION doesn't mean SEX. So for you men out there, its time to crack open the dictionary and educate yourself. Personally I use to think it had to do with sex and only sex for the most part. I was wrong, but I did learn what the word really meant. Passion is when you are totally committed to something with your mind, body, heart, and soul. Passion is what excites you to wake up in the morning. Passion is what you LOVE. It works in all areas of life. Passion for the opposite/same sex: This passion would mean that you will go above and beyond the norm to accommodate or to even be with a particular individual. When you see this person you feel the warm and fuzzies inside. You trust this person. You share your inner most soul with this person and have no doubt in your mind that this person will not pass judgement on you, no matter what. Passion for Life: This is the very essence of living. You love to live. You can't wait to see what the new day brings you. You appreciate all that is around you and embrace every moment as a learning experience. You salivate at the thought of breathing and living. Passion for your craft or gift: This is what you love to do. This is that thing that you aspire to do always and if lucky get paid to do so. In my case its acting. I love it so much, I crave the desire to wake up on a daily basis to get to go and practice my craft. Everyone has a passion for something. Everyone desires something so much it makes them salivate. The question is, "How do we put this in to affect into our daily lives?" Very simple. You stop making excuses and you go for your passion. I am not saying quit your 9 to 5 and roll the dice to see if you become the next All American Band, but why not join a band. Why not? Why not practice the GOD given gifts that you have? You have passion for a reason. We have passion for things, because we are good at those things. We have passion for certain people, because we mold with those people. Passion is a very basic alert system in our hearts and souls that tell us we should be doing something everyday that involves our personal passion. If we ignore the Passion, then we are not living epically are we? Stop wasting anymore time. Follow your passion, and trust your instincts!
Live Epically
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